Thoughts

Today I took my final theory test. But I did not make it. No matter how hard I tried, I just could not make it a pass this round. Why is that so?

What is happy for me then????

If you really want me to name, I will say, happy to be with the members and happy that they made me realised what is grown ups.

Though I got an answer which I do not hope to hear it, though he did not directly rejected me. But deep inside my heart, I knew, we aren't meant to be. I dot suit him at all.

What really only good news for me is, my idol appreciate my gift for his bday. Other than that, I would say, it is time for me to let go something which I should as it will never belongs to me.

I do not know if that 'he' will ever read this entry or people who knows who I refer to will tell him. I just want to say. Thanks for not directly hurting me. I know you are a great catch. I knew deep inside that I am not worthy for you. Maybe, as what most said to me, my real Prince did not came to me yet. But I think I should be realistic.

Long long time ago, as a fat lady, I harbour the thought of a handsome or cute prince will fancy me and start a relationship with me. Sad to say, fairy tales is fairy tales. It can never happened to me in real life.

I guess, it is time I have to force to let go. But if one day, miracle happened. I am not sure if I can take this news for my hurt and weak heart.

I do hope that one day he will come. I do hope it will be soon. But I doubt it will ever happened. Anyway, thanks for the help in my growing up process. I knew you would love to try, but I think we did not worked out well at all.

Do not worry, after this blog, I will learn to let go. May drunk wash away all my sorrow. Goodbye my admire guys. From now onwards, I will learn to let go and set you and myself free. Thanks for the indifinate answers and the praises. But to me, they are one of the scars.

I do know when I will let you go. But I pray my sorrow will end soon. Take care all and hope that HIM of mine will come and tell me what I think was all wrong, terribly wrong. :X

13 August 2008

Today is my last exam before starting two modules on 25 August. Today's paper is Financial Management.

It was a paper which I have confidence in passing with a breeze. But I still do ample practice and revision. Again, my lunch was sacrificed for this exam.

As told by the lecturer that he will request for the formula sheets so that we no need to memorize all the formulas.

When I read through the exam questions, was a bit happy that the questions was not difficult to understand. I start from the full confidence that I am able to score most of the marks to the one which I think I can get it right. I hand in the paper at 4pm plus which was shortly before end of paper.

I did a double and triple check ensuring that I do not make mistakes or missed any questions. Just hope that I can get all the exams passed with flying colours. As long as I passed, I am happy liao. :P

7 August 2008

Today is my first meeting for YSIEU. Very looking forward for today to arrive.

Initially, I told Bro Luke that I will not be able to attend. Eventually, I decided that I will attend as the major exams was already over. Left was what I was confidence in passing.

Heard from Sis Jerica that all I have to do is to keep quiet and take part only when needed.

Today they discussed on their Hanoi trips and what is the gaining point and the sacrificed. Bro Luke also praised Sis Jerica and Bro Peter and Sis Hazel for the great presentation.

Then they touched on other matters. Throughout this meeting, I find it was fun and not very formal as I thought it will be. I am looking forward for the next month one and hope can be able to assigned a task to work on, since my exams was about to be over soon. :P

Cheers and hope for next fun meetings. :P

4 August 2008

Today is my Economics re-exam date. I was very nervous and worried. Though I had revised few weeks before the exam but can't help feeling that I might failed again.

I was at school early so as to locate the classroom from the LCD TV. I did some more revision to ensure that I get most of the notes into my stupid brain.

I wish I can pass it once and for all so that I no need to remodule. Wish me good luck.

Time passed and now is 1:15pm and exam is at 2pm. When I checked the LCD TV, my classroom for exam was to be F101, but when I went there to check on the list, I could not locate my name. Oh no.... I approached the invigilator. Thanks to her, I am able to locate the correct classroom from the notice board.

My exam classroom should be B207. I went up and checked on the list. Oh gosh, i again could not find my name. Panicked, I open the door and asked one of the invigilator how come my name did not appear in the list. She immediately call the admin officer then she tell me to find her downstairs.

Then when I reached, I saw her next to the notice board and I pointed that my name appear in the list on the notice board and stated clearly that my exam classroom is B207, how come my name not in the list. She then call a lady name Jacqueline, which then referred her to me and she ask me to look for her at Room B203, I ran up and went to the classroom but could not find Jacqueline.

Just as I was about to walk down the stairs, I saw a lady looking at my direction. Immediately I went over and ask if she is Jacqueline, she nodded and she pointed to me that my name was at another list.

That was a shocking experience which wakes me up totally. I was so panicky now. Then I saw my classmate who retake with me. We then test each other for a while and make sure we remember the important notes.

Time is 1:45pm. It was time to enter the classroom. When sitted, I hope for the time to strike 2pm for me to read the questions. Finally, it was time for us to start. This round, i am more confidence and hope can hit a passing marks.

When I start writing, I look through all the questions, I zero in to those I am very confidence in and try. Then try those with moderate confidence.

I finished doing after one and a half hours or so. I left the class at around 4plus pm. Wish me good luck.... I hope to pass it and no need remodule. :P

1 August 2008

Today is my exam for Management Accounting. I was around the area near my school to get myself prepared for the exam. I did revision whereby I sacrificed my lunch hour just to do the revision.

In return, I lost some weight which was what I hope to gain in this sacrificed. As I have another exams on 4th August, I left with little time to revise for today's paper.

I am worried. I afraid I might need to retake this exam if I failed. Then I will have little time spared for the next exams.

Well, before entering the exam class, I did not take a last glance. That was a stupid decision. I should have take a last look at the papers given for revisions.

When I read the exam script, oh gosh, all look so familiar but I could not even done a proper questions.

I finished the paper within 1 hour which I guess might not really pass it. As no matter how I try, I still can't get the formulas out of my mind, let alone the theory answers. Hence I give up by anyhow answer them hoping that I can accidentally answer correctly.

Just hope to get a pass and I can finished my diploma with a breeze. :(