Updates Apr-May 2010

It had been months or maybe weeks since my last updates. Too long ago till I do not have any tracks to keep.

So I shall update a very brief one. April till May 2010, many things took place and made me almost wanted to give up myself.

Friend's supports and love keeps me going. I know they all care for me and whenever I need listening ears, they are there for me. I needed advice, they will be all ready to give me lots of it. I just want to say THANK YOU to all who care and concern for me. Also to those who met me out for play, chase idols and even go for movies.

For all you know, you all warmth my heart. From where I fell, I must stand up at there. Thinking back, what I did in the past was really foolish. If I had chance to turn back the clock, I will study hard.

If I can go back and study again as a full time student. I promise I will study real hard. For a better future and a better me, I am willing to give it a shot. But sad to say, there are two voices which tells me to go and also tell me do not go. I do know the consequences of giving up a career and study. I will become poorer than now. But isn't it have to go through bitter ways to enjoy what you reap? I believe this and hopefully I can fulfil it by next year 2011. Alright, let this be my 2011 resolutions.

As for now, I shall strive hard in work and prepare for study life next year.

Time flies, June is round the corner. I had been in and out of jobs for 4 times. Its time I sit down and think what is my directions. From Insurance industry, I took the first step out to Travel industry than followed by MINDEF industry and lastly Law firm as an Admin assistant. Its really tiring to search for jobs and go for interviews. ITE certs may seem enough to get myself a job. But the pay is really not much. I envy all my friends who graduated with me in Secondary School now earning almost one times more than mine or even more.

That made me more wished I can get higher certificates. I will continue to try harder and hopefully I will not be reprimanded by my parents if I were to give up job for study.

Looking at friends around me. Mostly married and some even have few kids by now. I am still single and not into any relationship for years. At times I really wonder, what is wrong with me? Why am I unable to attract opposite sex to go dating. After watching "Bai Quan Nv Wang" I really very scare. Being single does not sound cool. I really wish to have someone there when I needed company, when I need condolence, when I need jokes, when I need...... Friends usually tell me, fate have not came knocking at my door. I should not be so uptight. Afterall, I am only 26. Still have lots of time to choose and search. But soon, I will be 30. I really very worried. What if by 30, I am still single? Anyway, shall do something soon. Hopefully someone somewhere can be attracted by my ordinary looks soon.

Suddenly do not know what else I should write in here. Besides, keeping a blog lively is not easy. My friends used to tell me, why your blogs is forever filled with words. You can be writer soon since you love to type so many words. I also amazed by myself how I can actually write so many lines in here. When asked to write an essay during school time, never see myself able to write so many words.

Suddenly feel so strange that when asked to write my mood, thoughts and even feelings, I tend to write a long long long paragraph. I guess that is also the reason why not much people will actually spend time to read all these. Besides, these aren't written for others to really read and understand. It is my form of ways to destress to let go of anger, sadness, worried and even happiness. Bottled all up does not seem to be healthy. So I guess by writing it down in the blog, I can feel better. It also can train my typing speed. Kill two birds with one stone. :D

Ever notice nowadays all the singers are so talented? From the past till now, many singers who got fame and wealth is from the song writers who able to write nice lyrics for them to sing. Now to be a very very famous singers, you need not only to be able to sing. You must also able to write some songs and even play on the keyboard, guitar or even other music instruments. Being a student in music school since 2008 November, I learnt that being a singer in Singapore is really not as easy as we thought.

It wasn't easy to even sing a song well. You need to take note of many things, for example, the breathing, the pitching and many more. I had never been into a recording room before. If there is a chance, I wished to try. Heard from friends, it was not easy to even record a song. As the mike at the recording studio is very sensitive. Even just a normal breathing sound can actually obstruct the whole recording.

I am very inspired to learn more. But at times, I will stop and think. Will my dream comes to reality? Or I should just keep it in my heart and forever not told to others? But if given a chance, I will cherish. Even if just by cutting one album, I will be contented.

I know I am still far from cutting an album. At times, I really stop and asked, should I give up learning music? Seeing how difficult it is for Serene Koong to actually gain her popularity, I was taken a back. Should I just give this dream a missed?

Recently, there is upcoming PK for DJs. Friends asked me to give it a try. I know I should but I still have fears. To be a DJ is my dream since ITE. I have yet given any try. This sunday will be a chance for me to put the first step. Should I? I know even if I did not succeed, it will be an experience gained. Maybe I should brave up and give it a shot. Alright, will update more soon. For time being, shall end here. If not it will be a super long essay blog entry.

Once again, thanks for spending time reading my blog and sorry for the lengthy updates. :D