Thoughts

Today very moody. Not cause of anyone but cause I really felt very lonely.

When I saw all my friends have their partner, I am still single. I suddenly suspect I dot have anything that will attract a guy to fall from me.

Cos of this, I almost made one of my friend angry. I even thought if it will be great if I have match-making now....

I know it is foolish. But after he got married, my heart sanked and since then no one will be able to be attracted by me. I was foolish to let him go. But will wish him happiness if that is what he wants.

I started to ask myself, am I really that bad? Why guys only look at appearance? Can they look at my heart? I wont say I am really kind hearted. All I wish for is someone there to love me, dotes me and also care for me. Is that too much to ask for?

All of them say I am pretty, I am cute, I am attractive. I dot know whether to believe them or take it as a joke. Most of my ex love me cos I have big b----. I dot wan that but no choice, at that point of time I love them.

The more I love them, the more they will make use of me. Time and again hurt me. Time and again tricked my money. I am not rich but when i fell for him, I believe whatever he said to me. Even if I knew it was a lie, I also will choose to believe him. All cos I really dot wish to lose him. But what did I got in the end?

I got back only hurt hurt hurt. How long must I wait for the true love? Or is there really true love for me? Will there be a guy out there to fall in love with me?

I really wish to believe there is. But I am really tired of waiting. I really afraid I might not able to meet him. Dear God, can I know how long you wan me to wait? Where is he? Can guide him to me? Please?

I really hate to be all alone. Please help me....