February 2010 Updates (1)

1st February 2010
Today was first day of work after the wake. My supervisor was very concern for me hence she took me out for a short chat.

As I was still under probation, so that three days will be considered as unpaid leave. I understand and I was already prepared for that. My colleagues were also very nice to me. Sorrow was being diverted to work. I will try to be stronger these days.

After work, I can never hide, hence I sms to Ivy Jie. She consoled me and I soon, more people sms to me and asked me be strong. I guess it was easier to be said than done. I know I have to try. But tears still rolled down when thinking of it.

Any ways I can do to be stronger? Is it to pretend nothing have taken place? Or is it to divert myself with more work to forget it for time being? I really do not know.

4th February 2010
Today was lesson at Music Clinic. I had missed a lesson and today was 2nd last lesson. It was Terence who took our class. When I reached, I saw Peter lao shi at the entrance. I was still mourning, hence I did not talk to him much. I guess he finds something weird. Even when Zhiwen lao shi came near me, I also lost the smile.

How can I be strong? Augustine asked me what happened. I could not say. I scare if I said, I will cry. I do not want to cry at there. So I use silence to shut myself off. But during lesson, I was "okay" somehow.

Not bad in acting. I successfully hide from everyone. Hopefully I can be strong soon.

6th February 2010
Today was the 12 hours Marathon Hosting for Yes933 to celebrate their 20th birthday. The hosting begins from 9.33am till 9.33pm. Starting from 9.33am were Mary Jie and Liyi Jie. Rarely hear them in the morning.

Their special guest appearance will be Huishi Jie and Zihui Jie. They talked of the passed and when thinking of the passed, Huishi Jie shed some tears. After that was Yang Junwei, so long never see him. He still look very stunning and handsome.

At 12pm will be host by Jiafa and Peifen, time for us to go for break. We went to have lunch and take a break before we rejoined the crowd at 2.30pm for CQ kor and Ivy Jie at 3pm-6pm. We also get to see Baobao Jie and many others ex hosts. Then at 6pm-9.33pm were Jiahui Jie and Cruz. At 8pm plus, all DJs dance the song Sorry Sorry. Very nice and fun. We also played a lot of games and had a lot of fun.

The great suprise for me was, they celebrating all the January babies' birthday on stage today. I was so honoured. Actually thought I will not be celebrating and not having chance to eat birthday cake. Very appreciated and Thanks to Yes933 for giving me a memorable 26th Birthday. Felt so lucky to have same month birthday as Yes933.

Yes933 was borned in 01 January 1990 at 9.33am. That is why they name themselves Yes933. :D

14 February 2010
Today is first day of CNY. Should be a very happy occasion. But this year, will not be happy for Mah Family. I lost my Grandmother 19 days ago. So this year we are not celebrating CNY. Hence, we will not preparing for CNY.

Our house less the atmosphere. Something is really not right. But It was already 19 days. So no matter what, we have to come to terms by now.

Actually today should go and pray, but we arranged to be on Tuesday 16 February to pray. Today till tomorrow will be rest day for us.

Anyway, even if we are celebrating, 1st day of CNY will be rest day for us. :D

15 February 2010
Today our only routine was to head to Uncle's house for mini reunion. We had lunch together and some chit chat session.

As we aren't celebrating, hence Uncle house will have no one to visit as they knew we aren't celebrating. The atmosphere is still missing. That's how we spend our CNY. Tomorrow will be meeting again to pray for third 7th days.

Time to get back to life and be strong. :D

16 February 2010
Today was third 7th days, which is 21 days after Grandmother left us. 2nd Aunt told us that, they bought the place next to Grandmother and will be bringing Grandfather from the grave to here so that we do not need to travel to two places to pray.

They will also do a new tablet to have both Grandparent's names on the tablet. All the ceremony will be done on the 49th days.

Today, 1st Aunt was late for the chanting. But she was in time to offer the incence to Grandmother. We also discuss the dates for next visit and time to meet.

After that, Da Ge drove us to Changi Village for breakfast then send us to Pasir Ris. We headed to Toa Payoh instead. Done some shopping for clothes and went back to AMK Hub for some grocery shopping.

Outside AMK Hub, I met GZ. So coincidence. He wished me Gong Xi Fa Cai, but I cannot wish him. By right, he cannot wish me as I am not celebrating. But I guess many people forgotten. Anyway, thanks for all the concern. I am fine. Really fine. Time to walk out of sorrow and be strong. I will and I have to.