Feelings

Its been sometime since I last talk about feelings. Well, it took me very long to finally talk over myself.

Recently had many things happened. Everyone's mood had since been affected. First was the demise of Dr Balaji. When I first heard, I could not believe my ears. Am I imagining things? Did my hearing go crazy? Then went online to search and realised that, Yes, he really died. Next came Mrs Lee Kuan Yew passed away peacefully in her sleep.

Why do we keep losing our important person who did many contributions to Singapore? Is heaven lack of all the Great Persons?

Than with much heart to heart talk about the July issues which had happened to me. I was blaming myself and hoping that someone will say Yes Its Your Fault. Be it said by me or others, the end results will still be same. Just that the reply on the spot will never be the same. To think I will be that motionless standing at there and give chances of being humiliated. I really do not know why I usually think I will talk back became so quietly standing and let him humiliated in front of the public.

I can say this memory will be staying in my mind till one day I lost my memory. To lose memory said is easy, to do it is not that easy.

I really need invisible power to overcome it. Shall put myself on test this Saturday. If I can go that fateful place once again, meaning I am nearing to forget the whole incident. To forget is not easy. Though I know I have to. But its difficult.

I had been thinking a lot. Way too much till I almost blaming myself too much for what had happened that day. It leads to many problems and now we are unable to solved it unless we really able to brainwashed that person.

I know I am not in the wrong. I also know I should not be blame. But I really need some time to make myself believe I am not be blamed. Thanks for giving me ample time to adjust.

So now I will need to test myself to face that person without reminding that day.

Just got myself a new job. Is in the process of adapting and trying to learn as much as I can. Provided the person who should guide me is available till her last day.

So what should I blog next?