July 2010 Updates (19 July 2010)

19 July 2010
Initially I do not wish to update what had happened today. As usual, it suppose to be just an ordinary Monday besides going for the events for Old Cow vs Tender Grass.

If not for that someone which I still do not wish to name that someone. I shall call that someone K. Not naming that someone was not becaused I scare of that someone. I am also not asking for any sympathy. Neither do I think I am not in the wrong.

It had been many weeks since I really wish to have a chat with K and I wish I can talk some sense in K. Maybe the time and venue were all not correct. Or maybe I shouldn't be so busybody.

But when it concern of many innocent parties, I just could not ignore or pretend it does not exist. Someone will get hurt and worst even losing her rice bowl. Furthermore, if its foreigners, it will be doubly difficult to even find another job. She may in turn have to return to her homeland and wait for new job to come.

I think if that situation really happened again, I will never forgive myself and will blame myself for not doing anything.

Hence, when K started to talk about that shop, I really could not hide and was nicely asking K, can you don't go down everyday and disturb. I believe if you think deeper, you will know it may caused inconvenience to the person working at the shop. How does it feels when someone keep coming to the shop and disturbing your work. Worst if you get scolded for this matter where you did not even wish that that person appear at your workplace EVERDAY.

When I say everyday, it is really almost everyday. Thinkiing of she is a foreigner and even I as a Singaporean, wanted to find a job will take me months to actually find one. Unless I am very lucky, I will get it within weeks. But for foreigners, especially if holding work permits, once lose job, will not be easy to find a new one that soon and that easy.

I was really standing in the point of view for that gal. End up, K did not think K was doing anything wrong. In turn, K got angry and starting to shout at me. At times, K even dashed towards my direction and if not for my friend, I guess, K might just give me few punches. K even scolded me in vulgar languages. It all happened too sudden and was at GV Vivo City just nearby the stage area for events. At there filled with people and also workers who were clearing the area. My friend tried to hold K back and asked me and another friend to leave first.

We went to Kopitiam for a drink and received a call from my friend that he and K will be coming down. When my friend came down, he say he have words for me. Hence we walked to one side, I promise him never to bring up this matter again. I agreed. After that, I tried to ask my friend, should I apologise to K. They all said, K should say sorry to me.

To me, both of us was in wrong. I was wrong as I should never be so busybody. I was in wrong as I should never talk about this matter in the public and in turn, it was a sad experience for me. Whenever I saw him, reminds me of that day. I really do not know if I say sorry to him, will he forgive me. I also do not know if I really have to say sorry. The main reason why I wanted to talk K some sense was also because, I worried K will use that gal as spare tyre for relationship if N was to reject K. I do not wish anyone will be hurt. All the more I do not wish anyone to lose their rice bowl due to this childish act. I am sorry to say it as childish act.

I knew friends around me who knew this incident will definately say I wasn't in the wrong. Even if it wasn't me, there will be some other who cannot bear to see anyone losing rice bowl if K did not stop his action. But I sincerely wish to apologise to K. I do hope we can be friends again. I really hope so. But I know it can never happened as now, we are like strangers.

If I can remove that memory off my mind, if that day did not took place. If I can have a medicine to remove that day's memory. I guessed, I wouldn't feel so bad.

The after-effect of this incident lead to many unhappy decisions. I was sad that this incident became a spark of all the sad decision. If this memory being removed, I will be happier. Now, whenever I think of it, it was heartpain incident. In the end, I was not a saviour. Neither was I angel.

Maybe one day, I am able to forget and forgive. But not now. I was also stunned as in why when someone scolded me in public I can be so silent and walked away. Imagine if i talk back, what will be the situation? Furthermore, my tone of speech wasn't angry. It was really should be casual talk, Really. But why things turned out this way? Am I really not in the blame? Am I really not in the wrong? Should I wait for K's apology which will never happened? Should I forgive K?