Wrapped Up June 2011(3)

27 June 2011 (Monday)
Typical school day with unusual long hours of spending in school. Reason being, I am too quick to select to attend this CE talk in HR Strategies which will start from 4.15pm-5.30pm.

Sad to say the speaker was caught up in traffic jams and came only at 4.40pm. Fearing that it will dragged the whole thing till 6pm, hence some already left after signing in.

During the whole presentations, I saw a guy next to me was sleeping. I was actually sleepy but cannot sleep as I fear later I am unable to write RJ. Hence I pay more attention during the talk. Ironicly, I do not choose HR as my module. But I chose Hotel as my core. Am I a hotel person? I am really not sure. But I am definitely not a HR person.

Thanks god that the whole thing ended just slightly later than 5.30pm. But by the time I reached home with that slow coach bus, it was already 7plus pm. Time to catch my favourite drama at Channel 8 and rest for the day. Still thinking when will I need to do that RJ, hope it will not be difficult. :D

28 June 2011 (Tuesday)
Was telling myself, no matter what today have to attend this workshop as I will be able to get the hang of knowing chemistry at least the basic.

Together with two other classmates, we went to queue for the attendance taking. Thanks god that seat was reserved for us by one of my classmate's friend.

I was so tired that I could not concentrate well in the whole workshop and keep yawning. Plus, the facilitator or was it the module chair did not really teach in depth. He is just merely repeating what was being taught in class during the 6P presentations.

Interval, they gave out the worksheets and asked us to spend 30 minutes to complete it, but did not go through the answers with us.

We were told that attendance stands 1 ND CE points and we need to get 50% correct for the quiz at the end of the workshop in order for us to get another 1 points. If I knew it will be that way, I guess I rather not attend. :X

In the end, I learnt nothing and fearing I will fail this time round. I should get help from friends now. Hopefully I can be in time to get help and somehow brush up my scores for the upcoming UT. Not hoping for A's, if get C's I will be contented.

29 June 2011 (Wednesday)
It is unusual for me to attend gathering on weekdays. CBS gathering made it special as it falls on Wednesday evening. The venue is Crazy World Cafe, a place I never been to and located in Chinatown.

But got chance to meet Diya and Carrie, that cheers me up a lot. It had been a long time since we last met. Keep wondering when was the last time I met them, was it at Music Clinic or was it at some events? The memory was so far. They are really nice bunch of ladies.

Recalling how I came to know them, it was through Music Clinic or was it through Xiaohan lao shi and Jim lao shi? I really mixed up. Anyway, knowing them really cheers me up. Dee always forget my name and Cee always the one remembering my name. Their smiles always brightens my days without fail.

It is my first time attending the gathering but will never be the last, I promise. They talked about their feelings to us, how they cope with their struggles and how our little words can motivates them to continue working.

We reached at 7pm plus and ate our dinner there. Than was asked to leave the cafe first while they re-arranged the space so that it will be spacious for us to sit and stand to watch it. They started singing Xiao Dong Zhuo. That really bring up the atmosphere to high point.

I like the ambience there and I like the fact that we are close even though we seldom chat and seldom meet. The most humour part was when Dee said till so emotional but the song that they going to sing turns out to be happy songs. I can feel how they feel when they met dead ends. But glad that they never give up and glad that I can be part of the fanclub though I am not really fan member.

They made me so embarassed when Dee started saying out my twitter name as HaiMianBaoBao. Than Cee added that I always will ask them do they remember me and my name. But today I remain very quiet and enjoying the whole gathering. Interval, we were asked to write a letter to 1 year later us to tell the feelings we had today and what we wish to achieve in 1 year time. We were each given a letter paper and envelope. I did not write a lot but imagine you are writing for the time capsule? 1 year later when you received this letter, how will you feel for 1 year ago you?

I envy Cee and Dee's courage and their energy level. They are always so high and so energetic. How I wish I can be like them. Though I know I can never be like them for now. But I will be working my way to be like them.

Thanks Dee and Cee for making my Wednesday night so happening. It's a pity that I have to leave early today as I have lesson tomorrow. But I really enjoyed myself and really happy that they never forget me and they will remember me as who I am. Never will they look down on me. Thanks CBS for giving me power to smile.

30 June 2011 (Thursday)
Today I cried. Why I cried> I also do not really know why. Maybe because I can no longer take it. I know they do not like me for whatever reasons they have. For whatever stereotyping mindset they have.

But no matter how hard I tried I can never break this wall. Imagine you will never fall for someone in the class and they kept making fun of you?

I really do not know how long I can endure. Why I am so weak? Why I am so easy target to be bullied? Some facts that is not even facts but I have to let it be and ignore.

Can you imagine how hurt it can be when you are trying so hard to please them and yet they never appreciate you and never take into the account that you do have feelings?

Anyway, fortunately is, we will not be classmates for long. We will change every 6 months. Just hope for the better. :D

I was telling one of my friend, if one day I cannot take it, I might do something silly. She told me if that day were to come, find her. She will do it with me. I guess that is friendship which keeps me alive.

I cherish friendship and I wish they also do. But why they treat me this way? I really do not know. What went wrong? I guess I will never found the answers.

Its end of June. Time passes so fast without you realising it is passing. Imagine the first time I step into RP as a vistor and now as a student.

Still remember the very first day, I kept asking myself, is it really real that I am a student in RP? Am I really a student now? Full time student?

Since April till now, 1st semester of Year 1 will end soon. What have I achieved? Looks like nothing in real. I yearn for friendship but it always failed me. I yearn for someone who really knows me well, it turns out to be only the friends I made outside knows me well and trust me fully. Never breaks my heart and never will they fails to make me smile.

I do not know why I become so sentimental, so emotional. I just realised, I no longer is me. Where is the old me? Where have I lost to? Where can I find me?